Just don't do it!

It's been one of those afternoons, where I sat around and did nothing. Don't you just love those? I generally feel so much better than when I'm doing a bunch of stuff and feel like I've accomplished nothing or worse haven't accomplished enough. Cause that's the trap, when you have work stuff to do or studying or whatever obligations weigh on you, you start doing them and no matter how well you complete a task you never feel like you're quite there. When that happens to me, it's like my brain goes into this hyperactive mode like a kid on too much sugar and when I stop and start coming down from the high I often get this intense feeling of underachievement. This may be true for a short period of time, like one day, or even months at a time. It's a terrible thing to keep busy but feel as if you aren't doing anything of actual value and time just wastes away. Because I'm such a fucking perfectionist, very little is ever up to par with my expectations, mostly the ones I have for myself. However the days I stay home and watch my shows and curl up idly in front my laptop, I feel like I escape myself and any expectations I may have. The trick of course, again, is to keep busy and not let my mind wonder towards all the "productive" things I could be doing, and just enjoy the non-doing. Ok, if you do this everyday obviously you're a lazy bastard, but once in a while isn't it nice to just be? For some this may mean going for a walk or a jog, for others sleeping in or getting up early to spend the day with family and friends. Some like to read, some like to play music. Each person spends their free time differently and that's the beauty of it, it's free, for you to do as you please. For me, the house cat, it's being in my home(preferably after I've cleaned it and it's all tidy and perfect) and binge-watch TV series. Hannibal, Sleepy Hollow, The Blacklist, Scandal, American Horror Story, The Voice, Suits, Game of Thrones(how fucked up is R.R Martin amirite?), The Walking Dead(Ugh Daryl-swoons-also hoping season 5 doesn't suck to goddamn much), Sons of Anarchy, Criminal Minds...I mean I could go on! Over the years there's probably very few shows I haven't watched. Movies too. It's my thing. I've always been fascinated by cinema and when I discovered series it was a whole new world. Obviously I download, I mean I don't even own a TV. But the themes and plots are endless, so is the amount of information if you're really paying attention. Mostly though I get to mute thoughts about jobs and money and people who are being cunts and people who I need to call and things I need to get done. I get to worry about the cliffhanger, wonder about the genius of Dr. Lecter, get excited when the Black Keys are playing in the background of another Sons episode and research that mental disease I heard about on Criminal Minds. And getting excited for the return of Twin Peaks(yay!)
My point is sometimes doing something that seems lazy and pointless is good for you. Whether you have the luxury of a whole day or an hour in the day, find time to do what you enjoy, even if that means laying in bed and staring at the ceiling. Slowing things down for yourself, even if for a little, may prove more therapeutic than you think.